This Sunday morning has been pretty easy - Shortpants let me sleep until 7, he's been doing a pretty good job of keeping himself occupied so I can bring my caffeine level up to where it should be, and the sun is out. I have a much easier time staying positive when it's not an overcast, gloomy kind of day, although weather-wise? Those are my favorite. I love a day that promotes blankets and books and warm drinks!
Life is pretty good the last few days. Work attitudes are getting better, which makes me not need to come up with a creative way of almost dying so I don't have to go in (seriously, I've never been so close to walking out on a job before just because of people who I have to be around. Get over yourselves, ye martyrs.), AXH (Almost eX Husband) has pretty much left me alone or has been easy to deal with, and I got to hang out with an old friend Friday night. It's also a three-day weekend, and who doesn't love that?!
Being just the two of us here, when one of us goes to bed around 7-7330 (usually and hopefully), leaves a lot of time for thoughts to pinball around my head. I pray that starts to settle down. I also pray that it will be easier to shut off my annoyance/disgust/feeling like barfing/general malaise when I see AXH post on facebook and add females whose profile pictures are centered on their cleavage with the background of a bar bathroom.
It's not jealousy. It's self-criticism at it's finest - I wasn't good enough, and THAT'S what you're going for? Okaaaaaaay. I can't decide if it makes me feel really good or really shitty. But wasting time on even contemplating the answer is not on my to-do list for today, so I need to do my best to shove those kind of thoughts right out. Unfortunately, I'm not quite sure how to do that yet.
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